Party Crashers
by lightrider86
Summary: Neal admits to party crashing a really big party.
1. Chapter 1

Neal and Elizabeth sat on the couch, a scrabble game in progress on the coffee table in front of them, and the TV tuned to ABC's pre-Oscar coverage.

"How many of the Best Picture nominees have you seen?" asked El.

"Not as many as I'd like but more than I've been able to in the recent past," Neal said with a small smile. "Usually Kate and I would try to have a movie marathon a few days before the Oscars. We'd try to see one or two movies from each category. It makes it more interesting if you've seen the movies that are up for nomination."

"I bet. I try to get Peter out to the theatres, but it usually doesn't work. Most of the movies he's interested in seeing remind him of work. So then he sits in the theatre and thinks about the cases he's working. And the movies that I want to see aren't something that he's interested in. He'll come with me, but then he'll just think about work instead of watching the movie. Sometimes we can agree on one or two. This year we saw _Inception_ and _Toy Story 3_ – both were fabulous."

Neal looked at El with a sly grin. "_Toy Story 3_, huh? I didn't see it, but Moz said it was quite the tearjerker. Did the big bad Fed shed a few tears in memories of lost childhood toys?"

El tried, and failed, to suppress a grin. She put a finger on her nose and said, "I'll never tell!"

She and Neal began to laugh. Peter looked up from his seat at the dining room table. Although it shouldn't have, he was still sometimes amazed at the relationship between his wife and the conman. He smiled and returned to his crossword.

"Oh look," said El. "There's Jennifer Hudson – I just love her. Look what she's wearing! And TIM GUNN! I adore him. I'm so glad they have him as a commentator on the Red Carpet this year!"

"You know, the Red Carpet isn't really red," said Neal absently. "It's more of a pink than a true red. But it looks red on TV."

El looked at him. "Wait, how exactly do you know that?" Neal kept his gaze on the TV. "Neal?" she whispered. "Were you there? Did you go to the Oscars?"

Neal darted a look at Peter, who was still engrossed in the Sunday crossword.

"I may or may not have been there a few years ago."

"Neal, knock it off. It's me. Peter can't hear you from where he's sitting. Tell me! Were you there?"

Neal grinned. "Yeah, and it was fabulous. A year or so after I first met Kate we were in Hollywood to…um…well, let's just say we were in the area on the day of the show. We had watched the Oscars the year before and Kate made the comment that she'd like to be there in person one day. So we just decided to go. We rented a limo, got new clothes, the whole nine yards. She was so happy from the moment the door was opened and she stepped out onto the red carpet. We both were grinning like idiots and I was praying that none of the photographs taken of us would find their way into a paper or anything. But I wasn't too worried. I figured we'd be long gone by the time anyone knew we were there."

"'Anyone' meaning my husband?" El asked with a smile. "Relax, I don't think he ever knew you were in Hollywood."

Neal smiled with a little relief. The job they had pulled in Hollywood wasn't his biggest, but it hadn't been reported and Neal wanted to keep it that way.

"Anyway, continue," prompted El. She was facing him now, a look of anticipation on her face.

"Right, so we're on the red carpet and Kate turns to me and says, 'We don't have tickets for seats.' She was right, we didn't. But I had another idea."

"Of course you did. How'd you get in?"

"We snuck in, naturally. There were so many people there that it was easy. If you look and act like you're supposed to be there, most people just assume you are supposed to be there. The Kodak Theatre is really amazing. I stood on the stage and got chills just looking out over all the empty seats. That's when I knew that we had to get on stage somehow."

El squeaked. "You were on stage? During the Oscars? How did you manage that?"

Neal lowered his voice conspiratorially and moved closer to El. "You know those extras you see in the background holding the Oscar before it's presented? The same people who usher the winners off the stage?"

El nodded.

"I bribed two of them," Neal said proudly. "We took their places for one of the early awards, I think it was sound editing or something like that. We slipped in, did their job, and then hung around backstage for the rest of the night. And that's not even the best part!" Neal paused, enjoying the drama of the moment. "We crashed the Governor's Ball! Ate, drank, and danced with the stars; Kate spent the whole night flirting with some of the younger stars and I, well, I got a few very interesting offers and one standing invitation for a visit to a very exclusive island in the Caribbean."

El was openly giggling now. "So, if I said that I wanted to go to the Oscars someday, what would you say?"

Neal winked. "Save the date. The anklet is off in two years. You'll be a hit. Peter can come too…with his bad suits he'll make a perfect bodyguard!"

Peter looked up again and smiled. His wife and partner had collapsed in laughter on the couch. Peter chuckled to himself; he had heard every word Neal had said. _Neal in Hollywood, huh?_ He thought. _I bet he made quite an impression. _Peter spent the rest of the night trying to figure out how to get a fake Oscar on Neal's desk by the next morning.

**A/N: This popped into my head last night while I was watching the Academy Awards. I thought it sounded like something Neal would do. Thanks for reading. Reviews are welcome!**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I was going to leave this story as a one-shot, but a kind reviewer requested something about how Peter gives Neal an Oscar. So, here goes. Thanks to everyone who reviewed – I hope this second part is just as fun for you to read as it was for me to write!

Also, I forgot to say it earlier, but anything you recognize belongs to USA, not me.

Long after the last award had been presented to _The King's Speech _and Neal had gone home, Peter was thinking about how best to surprise his friend with a fake Oscar. He had found a cheap souvenir shop on the other side of town that sold fake Oscars but he wasn't going to have enough time to pick one up before work. _That's fine, _Peter thought._ I'll wait a couple of days and then spring it on him. The surprise will be better that way. _

So Peter bided his time. He shared his plans with Elizabeth on Monday night, who got a devious gleam in her eye and casually suggested a rather unique way to misappropriate FBI resources. _God, I married a genius! _Peter thought at hearing her suggestion. _That's even better than a fake Oscar on his desk!_

On Tuesday Peter called Jones and Diana into his office while Neal was flirting with a few of the secretaries and clerks in the break room.

"What I'm about to tell you is personal and not related to any case we have worked or any case we may work in the future," Peter said. "Understand this. Even if you find anything, short of murder, there will not be an official inquiry made. Got it?"

Jones and Diana didn't hesitate. "Yes, Boss," they chorused in unison.

Peter smiled. "Good. I need all the Oscar footage you can find, videos and pictures, for the years 2002, 2003, 2004."

Jones paused for a moment before asking, "What exactly are we looking for?"

"Neal Caffrey." Peter said to two shocked agents before relating both the conversation he had heard the previous night and the plan he had for Neal. By the time he was through, both agents were grinning broadly and Neal was back at his desk, shooting puzzled looks at the trio. "Not a word to anyone. This is mostly going to have to be done in our off hours, especially if we don't want Neal getting wind of it. Let me know what you find." Jones and Diana nodded and left Peter's office.

Peter picked up a file on his desk and stepped outside his office. "Neal," he said across the bullpen, giving the CI the double-fingered Quantico salute. "My office." _It's a good thing we've got a lot of cold cases. I just hope they're enough to keep him distracted. _

Sifting though three years worth of Oscar media took three people a lot longer than what it should have. The sheer number of photographs taken each day was mind-boggling. Somehow, however, they'd done it. They'd found undeniable proof that Neal and Kate had crashed the 2003 Academy Awards.

There weren't very many photographs of the couple on the Red Carpet, but the ones they had were stunning. Neal was sleek and elegant in an all black suit, black shirt, and black tie. _Probably an Armani or something,_ Peter thought. It was a strikingly severe look coupled with Neal's dark hair and pale skin, but it just _worked _for Neal, especially when the camera captured the frightening intensity of Neal's eyes. Then Peter understood the whole black on black thing. Kate was stunning in a midnight blue dress that sparkled in an oddly elegant way. Peter definitely was no fashion guru and so he didn't understand the simplistic complexity of the dress. _No doubt El would,_ he thought. Peter did know enough to know that the young con artists were stunning and clearly very in love. There were also a few pictures of Neal and Kate at the Governor's Ball after the ceremony. Kate was photographed with Adrian Brody (Peter remembered his name because he kissed Halle Berry and damn if that wasn't something Peter had thought about a time or two), some of the cast of _The Two Towers,_ and Steve Martin. Neal had been caught posing with Michael Caine and Daniel Day-Lewis. He'd also been photographed with Catherine Zeta-Jones (_Chicago, Entrapment)_, Christopher Walken (_Catch Me if You Can_), and Paul Newman (_The Sting, The Hustler_). _Probably talking cons all night long, _Peter thought.

There was one special photograph of Neal and Kate together. Peter spent a long time looking at it before putting it at the bottom of the pile, unsure what to do with it.

If Peter was honest with himself, he had to laugh at the sheer audacity of the stunt. Neal was definitely on the FBI's radar by then and that little stunt could have been bad news for the crime committing couple. Luckily there had been no reported thefts or anything else that had Neal's name written on it during the time Neal and Kate were likely in Hollywood (and yes, damnit, Peter had had to check). Peter had taken the video clip of Neal and Kate on stage as presenters home to El and they'd watched some sound tech person give the same excruciating acceptance speech four times, attention riveted on the figures behind the speaker.

Two weeks went by before Peter had all the components of his plan set out and ready to go.

"Hey Neal, you have plans for tonight?" Peter asked casually as they were walking out of the building for the weekend.

"Not really, no. I was thinking about maybe going to a movie or something. Maybe see one of the Best Picture nominees that I haven't seen yet."

Peter did a little happy dance inside his head. _A perfect PERFECT opening!_ "Do you want to come over for dinner tonight? El was thinking about ordering from that new Thai place that just opened. Bring the wine and stay for a movie?"

Neal smiled. "That sounds great, Peter. Let me go home, change, and I'll meet you at your place at 7:30?"

"See you then."

At 7:28 Neal let himself into the Burke's residence. Peter was at the table, working on the crossword puzzle from that day's newspaper. "Caffrey," Peter said without looking up, voice tinged with annoyance. "Doorbells are there for a reason."

"Peter, don't be so mundane. Besides, I need to keep up my skills. You might need them someday and where would we be if I let myself get rusty?" Neal said cheekily. He held up a bottle of wine. "Want some?" he asked before Peter could reply.

"He doesn't, but I do!" said El, coming out of the kitchen with a beer in hand for Peter. She kissed Neal on the cheek in greeting and then set the bottle on the table in front of her husband. "I didn't know what you liked, so I ordered a few things that we can share," she said. Neal nodded and smiled.

"Speak of the devil!" El said as the doorbell rang. "You know where the glasses are, Neal. Why don't you pour us some vino. Get some plates while you're at it!"

Neal disappeared into the kitchen.

"Everything set, hon?" El asked her husband.

"The video is all cued up and ready to go. Let's eat first." Peter winked at his wife as he went to open the door for the food.

An hour later Neal, El, and Peter were arranging themselves before the TV.

"What's tonight's movie?" Neal asked.

"A surprise," said Peter. El suppressed a smile. "One I think you'll like." Peter pushed play on the DVD remote and turned toward the TV.

Neal's brows hunched together in confusion before he too turned toward the TV. His jaw dropped when he saw the video playing. He stared at the TV, momentarily speechless at the sight of himself on TV _at the Oscars_.

"You told him!" Neal said accusingly in El's direction.

"She did no such thing. I heard every word you said!" Peter defended his wife. "I was barely able to contain my surprise! And do you know how many photos those photographers take at events like these? THOUSANDS! It took Jones, Diana, and I a week to find any of you at all."

Neal was surprised, "You told Jones and Diana? And the three of you misappropriated FBI resources for me?" Neal looked oddly touched.

"Easy there, Sundance," Peter had the grace to look a little uncomfortable. "We didn't misappropriate the resources much. Besides, it was her idea!" he said, pointing to El.

"Oh, rat me out, why don't you!" El said with a sigh. "Peter, show him the pictures."

Neal looked at Peter, "You found pictures?"

"Yes, I did. And I'm dying to know what it was that you, Christopher Walken, and Paul Newman talked about." Peter tossed a file folder over to Neal.

Neal chuckled fondly at the memory as he started to page through the photos. "Well, naturally I asked Christopher about Frank Abegnale, and Paul and I talked about the hypothetical pros and cons of running one of the old cons, like the wire, in today's world." Neal paused. "This is all you found?" he asked, an odd tone in his voice.

"No, it isn't. But you should know that I told Jones and Diana to overlook anything short of murder that may or may not have been connected to you when you may or may not have been in Hollywood."

"Peter, I'm touched. Misappropriation of federal resources, telling agents to ignore any possibly leads they may find, not that there was anything to find, of course. I think we're one step closer to business cards with 'Caffrey and Burke' emblazoned on them in gold lettering."

"One," Peter said holding up a finger. "Any leads Jones or Diana dug up connected to you would result in a huge amount of paperwork. If we haven't heard about it by now, I don't care. Two, no business cards. Three, it would be 'Burke and Caffrey.'"

Neal smiled. "You said there was more?" he probed.

Peter's smile fell a little and he hesitated. "Yes," he said and handed Neal a framed photograph. He was unsure how his friend would react.

Neal looked at the photo and momentarily forgot how to breathe.

It was a close up of he and Kate dancing at the Governor's Ball. Neal's right hand was on the small of Kate's back and his left hand was lightly brushing her cheek. Kate's eyes were closed and she was leaning into Neal's caress with a soft smile on her face. The love surrounding the couple had a physicality that Neal had never before seen in a photo. Everything about it was perfect and Neal found himself running his thumb lightly across the photo. Neal closed his eyes against the threatening tears and took a moment to compose his thoughts.

Neal looked at the couple, his eyes bright with happy memories and unshed tears. "This is the only photo I have of her. I can't tell you what this means to me." Neal took a deep breath and said, "Thank you both. Thank you so much. I…" Neal trailed off, uncharacteristically at a loss for how to express himself.

El rescued him with a hug and a smile. "Hey, sweetie, it's okay. We know." Peter nodded his agreement.

Neal smiled and looked back at the photo. He laughed and looked up, "So, Peter, what do you think about running the wire on some Wall Street Execs? Could be fun!"


End file.
